EXAMPLES  of ALL the COOPERATIVE SPORTS

("truly playful" alternatives to our favorite ball games) 

SUPERVISION – assuming the games are played within some sort of “organized context”, and to at least introduce the games to new players, it is desirable to have a teenager or adult playing along in the beginning (mandatory for the very young). Since the games are designed to be intergenerational in nature, getting volunteers to help facilitate the games and help with skill development should not be a problem. Facilitators should be well versed in the philosophy and advantages of no competition, no winning and no losing. The games also provide an excellent vehicle for developing cooperative attitudes, teaching the “golden rule”, “living in the moment”, and observing nature.

EQUIPMENT – the equipment requirements for these games are minimal. It would be nice if all the COOPERATIVE GAMES equipment could stay together so that on “play days” a variety of games could be played serially or in parallel.

1. COOPERATIVE ‘SOFT’BALL (BASEBALL)

Tools of the game, field description, etc.

Several ball choices are available, depending upon the size and skill levels of the players, and whether the field is a little wet or dry. The balls can very in size from that associated with a regulation “hardball” to a “softball”. They can vary in hardness from a ball made of fabric (really soft) to a tennis ball (only to be used by the more skilled players). If the field is a little wet, a “softball” sized rubber ball works well.

For hitting, both bats and racquets are permitted. Gloves will not normally be required, except in those games played by the more skilled players using a tennis ball.

A view of the field will be inserted as soon as possible. It is laid out in the form of an equilateral triangle. There is a home plate and two bases. The distance between bases can be anywhere from 45-90 feet depending upon the ages and skill level of the participants. Two or three simultaneous games can be played on a field normally reserved for one game, thereby actually increasing the number of people playing at one time and the amount of action for all.

The number of fielders can vary from 5–7 (mid–fielder and catcher optional, depending on the number of available players), and are shown by the circles. The number of hitters is the same (for a total of from 10–14 players per game, or a total of from 20–28 players per traditional sized field). The number of innings equals the number of fielders so that everyone gets a chance to play a different position each inning. (In those cases where there are fewer than 10 available players, say just 6 for example, then the game becomes more like batting practice, with each hitter getting 10 hits and then everybody rotates positions).

The flow of the game

It should be emphasized that all the players in the game are members of the same team. Everyone is there to enjoy themselves and to try and maximize the enjoyment of others. They are all on the same team. The team is divided into two groups, for the purposes of hitting and fielding. The groups are self-selected so as to achieve as much balance as possible. There are “rules” of the game, designed specifically to promote action, safety, familiarity, equality, etc.

In the standard form (10-14 players), all members of the hitting group are given an opportunity to hit each inning. Because everyone hits each inning, the order is not important. However, it is suggested that it be reversed each inning, so that the last batter will get ample base running opportunities (this will make sense to you in a moment).

There are no strikeouts. The hitter may choose the size of ball pitched and the pitching speed. Ambidextrous hitting is encouraged. Each hitter will get two good practice hits each time up, and then a third hit, wherein the bases will be run.

Fielding the ball and making plays is very much like the game we already know. Fielders do attempt to catch the ball in the air or throw the runner “out” at a base. The difference is there are no errors (except hurting someone else) and no “outs”. The runner stops at the base where an attempt to make a play is made (whether “safe” or “out”) or where they would otherwise stop “safely” in the “competitive” game.

This is called “holding”. And that is what happens. The runner holds at that base while the next batter takes his/her practice hits and then advances at least to the next base on the hitters third hit. If the ball is caught in the air, the runner already on base must hold at the next base, and the hitter must hold at first base. If not, the runner(s) may try to advance to that base where there is a reasonable chance that they would be “safe” (just as in the “competitive” game).

In other words, running bases and making plays is much like the “competitive” game. The prime difference is that each hitter always, eventually, makes it home (except, possibly for the last one or two batters in the lineup – this is why it was suggested earlier that the lineup be reversed each inning). This way, there are more opportunities for fielders to make plays at a variety of bases, more double play attempts, and a lot more action for everyone involved. It should be added that there are no taking leads or stealing bases or extending running the bases beyond where an attempted play is made or where one would normally stop in the “competitive” version of the game.

Each time the groups switch from hitting to fielding, the group going into the field rotates positions. A standardized clockwise rotation is suggested, i.e., the pitcher becomes catcher, catcher becomes 2^nd base, 2^nd base becomes short fielder (if there is one), short fielder becomes left field, left field becomes right field, right field becomes first base, and first base becomes pitcher.

COOPERATIVE ‘SOFT’BALL SUMMARY

Think about it – in this version of the “game”, each person gets around 18 hits, 6 opportunities to run all the bases, at least 18 opportunities to pitch and catch the ball, and a whole lot of fielding plays at every position. There is no disappointment by a hitter if his/her line drive is caught by the third baseman, for example. In fact, one of the interesting nuances of this game can be the purposeful attempts by the hitters to place the ball where the fielders can be challenged to make difficult plays. A well-struck ball is complimented, no matter what the outcome, and an attempt to catch a difficult line drive, when unsuccessful, is praised as a nice “touch”.

There is a strong sense of “giving” and “treating others as we would like to be treated”. The focus is on “being in the present”, cooperation, relaxing, observing nature, having fun. Compliments, laughter, and skillful playmaking attempts abound. No one is sad. And remember, that above all else, safety reigns – players are discouraged from taking any action that might potentially harm themselves and/or another player. And since the game has no “outcome – i.e., no winner or loser”, there is never any need to risk getting hurt or hurting someone else. The highest compliments are those directed at a player(s) who backed off from a play that could have resulted in injury.

It should go without saying, that everything herein is offered in the form of suggestions. Experiment, make changes, e.g., and use a standard size field with two groups of 9 players on the team if that better suits your needs. 

Variations

The standard form of COOPERATIVE ‘SOFT’BALL can accommodate between 10-14 players. (mid-fielder and catcher optional). And, of course, for larger groups, up to 28 players (two games going on simultaneously) can be accommodated on one playing field. Reference has already been made to several variations on COOPERATIVE ‘SOFT’BALL. Here is a summary of some (add others if you like):

1. 3-9 players – batting practice form – constant rotation of positions, hitter getting 5-10 good hits, then rotate positions (maximum 2 hitters at one time, running bases optional). If there are two hitters, each occupies a separate position in the rotation in order to maintain a nice flow in the exchange of positions.

2. Uneven number of players, or not quite enough or two many to achieve desired groupings - improvise, or ask for volunteers to play the batting practice form. Also, as you will see later on, it only takes 2 to play COOPERATIVE BASKETBALL and 3 to play COOPERATIVE FOOTBALL.

3. Organizing by age/ability – one of the beauties of this game is that the very young and the very old can play together. It can be a very family oriented game. In such instances, where there are a wide variety of abilities and ages, the softness of the balls must be used. However, there will be instances (encouraged actually), where players of similar size and ability will choose to play together in the advanced form of the game using a tennis ball and gloves.

4. Other variables can include the number of practice hits (if any) before running the bases, hitting thru the lineup twice before changing sides, accommodating the needs of handicapped and “special students”, hitting the runners below the waist with a really soft ball, etc.

2. COOPERATIVE KICKBALL

This old favorite can be played in vary much the same way as COOPERATIVE ‘SOFT’BALL. The ball can be a standard sized kickball, or facsimile that is smaller/lighter/softer. Since this game can involve being hit by the ball while running the bases, care should be taken to do so gently and always below the waist. As in COOPERATIVE ‘SOFT’BALL, the number of kicks allowed each kicker before running the bases will depend on how much time you have to play, how many players there are, etc.

As usual, the pitcher needs to try and accommodate the ability level of the kicker, delivering nice smooth (not bouncy) pitches at a comfortable pace. The kickers should be encouraged to kick both right and left footed.  This is also a good game to encourage the fielders to learn to throw the ball both right and left handed. I have learned from experience that it was much easier to learn to throw with my other arm, using a larger, heavier ball, than say, using a tennis ball.

One other thing that needs mentioning that applies to both COOPERATVE ‘SOFT’BALL and KICKBALL are so-called “foul balls”.  Although runners are required to run in straight lines between the bases (this cuts down on accidental collisions with fielders), balls that are hit/kicked slightly outside the baselines, where a fielder at least has a chance to make a play, are considered “good”, and are “played” just as balls hit/kicked inside the baselines.

3. COOPERATIVE SOCCER

Soccer is played by more children than any other ball game. It has the advantages of being relatively simple, even for the very young, its great exercise, and there is lots of action (although with fewer players on the field, more players would be involved more of the time). The primary disadvantage is that it can be a bit rough – getting kicked in the shins or hit by a fast moving ball at short range can really hurt. That is one reason why a softer ball is recommended.

Here are the basic guidelines (small/soft is beautiful): fewer players (10-14, just as in COOPERATIVE ‘SOFT’BALL, divided into two groups), a softer ball (kickball, volleyball – both slightly under inflated), and a smaller field. Goals can be wider and marked with a couple of cones. The goalie position is rotated among all the players. The rest of the players are free to move about the field as they wish, except that when on defense, each defender is assigned a particular player to cover throughout the game, and vice versa.

In terms of the flow of the game, there are several important differences from “regulation” soccer. First, the ball cannot be advanced by running and kicking – only by kicking to someone else. Second, once in the possession of a player, the defender cannot steal the ball, and must give the kicker ample space to kick the ball to another player within a count of three. A defender may intercept the ball after it is kicked, but once within the “domain” of another player, it cannot be stolen. (These are very much like the rules of ultimate frisbie.)  If within the “domain” of a player is evenly contested between two players (offensive and defensive), the tie will always go to the offensive player. (Remember, its not going to matter anyway, since no score is going to be kept.)

When there are a total of 8 players or less, it seems appropriate to play the more traditional game of soccer, without a goalie, and without keeping track of the score. But care should be taken to avoid kicking or tripping or running into another player, as well as hitting someone at close range with the ball, particularly above the waist. This form of the game could easily be accommodated within the structure of organized youth soccer leagues. With a bunch of smaller fields, just as many players can participate with no one on the sidelines. With no goalies, there will be so much scoring that no one will care about keeping track of the score anyway. Something slightly lighter and softer than a regulation soccer ball is still recommended.

Once again, although two equally divided groups are playing together, it should be constantly emphasized that they are all “one team”. You may have already noticed that many of the forms of the alternatives to our “traditional ball games” described herein, are actually much like practices, which occur, in most organized sports, which are essentially “one team” activities. For me, at least, and as said previously, the practices in youth sports were always a lot more fun than the games. There were fewer players, therefore more action, you could play all positions, there was no pressure (no outcome at stake), there were no screaming fans, you were among friends, etc. Why do we have to go beyond the practice format? Why can’t every play become the game?

Remember the definition of “play” – recreational (to refresh the ‘spirit’) activity with the absence of ‘serious’ or ‘harmful’ intent. Remember to forget what you have been taught. In the beginning, you played freely – the idea of keeping score, having winners and losers, was something you were taught. It is not a given. There may be some competitive aspects to our “nature”, but, in my opinion, there are many more cooperative aspects. You are free to make your own choices – mine is to really “play”, cooperatively, not competitively. I want to be challenged, I want lots of exercise, I want to laugh, but I do not need the artificiality of winning at something to make me feel better about myself, or superior to another.

HOCKEY – It has been years since I played this game as a child on the ponds of Southern Connecticut. I loved it. It was non-combative (I can’t stand to watch professional hockey). I would suggest approaching hockey much as soccer. A rule of thumb – any game in which you have to wear a helmet – you might want to stay away from, unless the flying object is softened to the point where you cannot be injured by it, and helmets are no longer required. Be careful of those other stick games – lacrosse and field hockey – you need fewer players, softer moving objects, and extreme care must be exercised in swinging sticks around when some else is nearby.

4. COOPERATIVE FOOTBALL

I must admit, football was always one of my favorite games to play, within certain parameters, of course. Almost always touch, fewer players, and if tackle (rarely), strictly among friends of about the same size who new how to tackle without causing injury. It still is one of my favorite games. Its relatively easy to get a little pick up game going in the neighborhood among the kids, but not so easy to get other adults involved. All most of them want to do is talk about and watch their favorite college or pro teams, and sometimes with such passion it is almost sickening. Too bad we can’t put just a small portion of their obsessive sports fan energy into something like peacefully solving the crises in the Middle East or diminishing the causes of global warming, etc.

Regulation tackle football, 11 on 11, in my humble opinion, is a complete travesty. How we can continue to foster and obsess over a so called “sport” – (pleasantry, jest - an act intended to provoke joy and laughter), which is nothing more than culturally sanctioned organized gang violence, and condition our children to think that this is the purest personification of “manhood”, is beyond me. It is like an opiate - an addiction of the worst form. It leads to untold injuries, people disliking other people, coaches yelling at players, fans with nothing better to do than sit on their ass watching TV. The list goes on and on. And I find it quite interesting that “God” is made to be an integral part of the mix – can’t you just imagine Jesus (the “prince of peace”) putting on a football helmet and banging heads with his fellow man? I think a philosopher like Jesus would be completely mortified by our obsession with violent, competitive sports.

We desperately need to give our children another way of having fun with a spiraling ball moving thru space – an organized activity they can play thru middle school, thru high school, and into adulthood, that is non-violent, doesn’t require helmets and padding, coaches yelling at you, etc., etc., etc. Here is what I would like to suggest – the basics of COOPERATIVE FOOTBALL.

First, the ball needs to be softer and smaller (nerf turbo, slightly under-inflated kids leather football, or some facsimile). Second, fewer players, one “team” as usual, two groups of 3/4 players each (this ensures lots of action for everyone involved). Third, much smaller field, needing to be no longer than the longest pass usually thrown. (This means that several games, side by side, can be simultaneously played across a field, thereby greatly increasing overall participation.) Fourth, one or two hand tag only, no body blocking (only simple hand checking), and as usual, there are no touchdowns and no keeping score.

The “kickoff” – both groups start off behind the end lines. The ball is kicked or passed by one group to the other, and is returned (latteraling encouraged) until the ball carrier is tagged. Remember that blocking is minimal – just a little hand checking.

The “plays” – the team having just returned the kickoff (no matter how far the kickoff is advanced), proceeds to the nearest end line to begin to run a series of 6 plays, each time from the same line of scrimmage. There are no running plays – all passing plays. Completed passes over the line of scrimmage can be run afterwards until the runner is tagged or it is obvious no one is going to be able to tag the runner.  Passes completed over the line of scrimmage may be latteraled to another player and run as well. At the end of each play, everyone returns to the end line in order to execute the next play. This is a classic example of the “each play is the game philosophy”. Intercepted passes are returned by the interceptor until he/she is tagged or crosses the end line. However, this has no effect on the offense getting in their 6 plays. In other words, the ball does not “change hands” when interceptions occur. All offensive players are pass eligible, and the defensive team may rush two or more players on two of the plays in the series. There may be a requirement imposed for some delayed rush count.

Continuity and diversity – during each series of 6 plays, everyone keeps the same offensive and defensive position. The quarterback is given the privilege of calling the offensive plays. The primary rusher calls the defensive plays. The quarterback needs to make a conscious effort to throw each of his group mates the same number of passes. At the end of a series of 6 plays, the group previously on offense, kicks off to the other group, and the process already described is repeated. However, with each switch from offense to defense, all players rotate positions for the next series of downs. In order to ensure that each player gets a chance to play every position, there must be as many different series for each group as there are players. It should be added, that everyone should be given an opportunity to kickoff and receive the kickoff.

Remember that the preceding rules are simply suggestions – alter them as you see fit. You can play a variation of this game with as few as three players, as is the case with COOPERATIVE ‘SOFT’BALL and COOPERATIVE SOCCER (actually, four players preferable as a minimum in all of these). If you only have two people, try throwing passes to each other at a park in a grove of trees – the trees make excellent defenders (just be careful not to run into any). If there are only two to play “soft”ball, get a bucket of tennis balls, a backstop, and pitch and hit to each other.

This game is so much more fun than traditional football! Why must we pressure our children, at younger and younger ages, to specialize at hard knocks football, in hopes that they will become high school stars, instead of encouraging them to really have fun, gets lots of exercise, not get hurt, and become well rounded athletes? Football at the high school, college and professional level is out of control and we are doing our children a great disservice in leading them to believe that it is the “mother load” of manhood and glory, and offering it up to them as “the only game in town.” We need to offer them an alternative.

5. COOPERATIVE BASKETBALL

There are two basic forms of COOPERATIVE BASKETBALL that I would like to elaborate upon. Let me begin with that form played on a traditional basketball court. Then I will discuss the “moon ball” version, normally played on a natural earth surface, with different kinds of goals, which are placed in a circular configuration – more on the second form later.

Once again, as usual, we are going to involve fewer players, lower goals if possible (for slam dunking), only half a court, and how about a smaller girls sized ball – easier to handle and get in the hoop (if really young children are involved, use a volleyball). Six people on the court at one time are plenty. Otherwise people are running into each other and there is less action for those involved.

Each group of three players runs a series of 6 plays (one group on offense, the other on defense).

No bodily contact or blocked shots are allowed. If the offensive team gets the rebound, that particular offensive play continues, until a basket is made or the defense gets the ball (either by getting a rebound, or stealing a pass – the ball cannot be stolen from an offensive player while he/she is dribbling). Just as in soccer, too many injuries occur from up close confrontations to try and steal or block shots. These actions are therefore discouraged. On the average, each of the offensive players gets an equal number of shot attempts during the 6 plays in their offensive series. Ambidextrous shooting and lots of passing are encouraged. Once the series of 6 plays is completed, the two groups change roles. This is a great workout, injuries are avoided, and ambidextrous and basic ball movement and shooting skills are greatly enhanced.

Maybe a word or two about the advantages of developing ambidextrous skills would be appropriate at this time. From my experience at learning how to play sports ambidextrously (something I have been working on for a long time), basketball is the easiest. Throwing and shooting a ball somewhat smaller and lighter than a regulation basketball both right and left handed has been, for me at least, much easier than trying to throw either a football or baseball from both sides (this certainly might not be the case if you are talking about a 2-4 year old).

I am no expert on right/left brain functioning, etc., but I can say that from my own experience, developing ambidextrous playing skills has been one of the highlights of my life. I am convinced that it has balanced out the stresses that exercise can put on the body, it has made me change how I use and how I see out of both my eyes (for a time, while learning to shoot and throw a basketball left handed – actually, I was using a volleyball in the beginning – I put a patch over my right eye – what a subtle difference that made).

In the competitive rush to develop the best and at the fastest rate possible, developing sport skills ambidextrously is given very little attention. It slows down the process. What’s the rush – if we are not obsessed with being better, faster - there becomes plenty of time to learn to “balance the body”.

The other form of COOPERATIVE BASKETBALL is called “moon ball” (I gave it that name because I used to play it at night by moonlight, and the goals are arranged in a circle). It requires some unique equipment, i.e., the goals are different. Ideally, 3 to 4 goals are arranged in a circle of about 40 feet in circumference in a natural, well drained space (playing basketball outdoors is great, but jumping up and down on concrete isn’t so great). Each goal is a normal basketball rim mounted at the end of a 4” piece of schedule 40 PVC pipe by two 4” U-bolts. There are no backboards – the baskets can be approached and shot at from any direction. The height of the rims off the ground varies from about 4 ft. to 8ft., making it easy for all ages and sizes to shoot and slam dunk (the flexibility and strength of the PVC is perfect for slamming and hanging on the rim). The goals can be turned easily to face either inwards or outwards, so that several games can be played simultaneously without people running into each other.

Other than the uniqueness of the goals and their configuration, when playing with friends, the flow of the game is the same as that already described. It is also a great game to play alone or with one or two other people, especially if you have a lot of balls lying around, slightly under-inflated (so they don’t get away to far) – perfect for just learning to throw, shoot and set balls from both sides at objects of varying heights. (By the way, if playing alone, these goals also provide good targets for learning to throw footballs both right and left handed.)

Do I need/want a pacemaker to challenge me and help me grow or someone for me to try and be better than? If games have to have some sort of objective, as so many believe, can’t that objective simply be “an in the moment experience” (e.g., a great fade away jump shot, or an attempt at same), instead of a completely arbitrarily conceived outcome like keeping score and identifying a “winner”.

6. COOPERATIVE NET GAMES

VOLLEYBALL – first, slightly deflate the ball or use something like a kickball or plastic beach ball – something that doesn’t hurt the arms as much as when setting a regulation volleyball. Eight players total are plenty. The object is to get some exercise and keep the ball going. Hard put-away spikes or shots blocked at the net do not accomplish this end and should be discouraged. Playing the ball off a bounce is permitted. Up to four hits on each side are permitted (more, if absolutely necessary to try and keep the ball in play and get it to the other side). Work on over handed shots to the other side using your non-dominant arm.

TENNIS – this is simple, you get a lot more exercise, and you won’t hold back – a degree of excellence is achieved that would unlikely ever be realized playing “winning/losing tennis”. Once again, it is “practice” personified. Just hit the ball back and forth to each other, sometimes intending to hit passing shots (shots unlikely to be returned), but most of the time aiming the ball so that your teammate can return the ball (and be challenged to varying degrees). Forget about the boundary lines, how many bounces the ball takes before hitting it, etc. – just keep the ball and yourselves moving. Compliment each other when making difficult shots – be careful not to hit powerful overhead close range slams right at your partner. When volleying at the net, hit the ball back to your partner most of the time. If you want to practice serving and rallying, each player hit 10 serves in succession, playing each ball whether in or out for as long as possible. Maybe set aside a little time at the end of each session to switch hands with your racquet and develop your ambidextrous skills – be patient – remember how long it has taken you to achieve your current skill level using your dominant hand.

A good way to develop your ambidextrous tennis skills is to use two racquetball racquets and racquetballs instead of tennis balls. Tennis is also fun to play if you don’t have a net (which just tends to slow the game down). This is the case if you can play on a beach where the sand is firm enough to facilitate a good bounce, and the softer surface is easier on your body.

PING-PONG – the same idea. Do not keep score. Just rally, challenging your partner and keeping the ball going. This is a perfect game to develop your ambidextrous skills. Play in slow motion (easy shots) as you develop your other hand skills – then, switch over and use two paddles, one in each hand. You will be amazed at the workout you can get if you really get into COOPERATIVE PING PONG. Play outdoors using a treated piece of plywood for a table – forget about regulation-sized tables. Playing on the earth is much easier on your body, the wind can make for some interesting shots (if the wind is to much of a factor, there are heavier nerf sized ping pong balls that can be used), and there are other things to pay attention to – the birds, the clouds, etc.

BADMINTON – lower the net, use lightweight paddles instead of racquets, use a small soft rubber ball that is easy to control, and try playing with a team of 4 players, two on each side. One of the advantages over tennis is that the playing surface is softer and easier on the body. Keep the ball going – here trying to hit passing shots is discouraged. Once again, get to the point where you are comfortable with a paddle in each hand. This actually becomes more like a game of paddleball. Having a net is optional.

RACQUET BALL, SQUASH, HAND BALL – I am honestly not that familiar with these games as I have always preferred playing out doors whenever possible, and they have not been available to me where I have lived in the winter. I would suggest approaching them like all of the above, not as a competition, but as a good workout with a friend, with challenge and excellence as the objectives, not keeping track of the past and determining a “winner and loser”. These are words that describe a “state of mind”, a contrived way of “ordering” reality, maybe someone else’s need to feel “superior”. If you need to feel superior, you are setting yourself up for feeling “inferior” at times as well. And it is all such an illusion. 

7. OTHER COOPERATIVE GAMES/SPORTS

DODGE-BALL, CROUQUET, POOL, GOLF, HORSESHOES, BOCCE BALL, DARTS, RACING (many forms), BOARD GAMES, etc., etc.

Let’s think of some general ways in which all of the above, and other games, can be rearranged, structurally and/or how we think about them, so that the participants have more fun and there are not losers, with some examples:

First, stop keeping score. For example, in horseshoes, just try to get ringers. In bocce ball, just see how close everyone can get to the pallina (by the way, there are many variations on this game involving various objects in various environments – e.g., Frisbees at the beach, etc., etc.). In darts, try to get bulls-eyes. In golf, just keep hitting the ball till it goes in the hole. Enjoy the good shots, improve on those not hit so well (hit the ball over if you don’t like the way you hit it the first time – improve your lie if you haven’t got a shot). There is no need to play exactly by the rules or keep score.

Second, stop thinking there must be a winner. In a foot race, you are simply going from point a to point b, as fast or as comfortably as you can (do not compare yourselves to each other – it is just nice to have a companion/pacemaker with you at times). In dominoes (e.g., the version of 5’s), just keep playing till you’ve had enough, complimenting each other whenever a multiple of 5 is achieved.

Third, equalize the number of turns, and hits per turn, each player gets. For example, in pool, take turns until there are no balls left on the table. In croquet, keep playing until everyone reaches the final wicket (those getting there earlier, continue back around the course). In dodge ball, alternate turns throwing, each player getting the same number of throws per turn, everyone “in” the entire game.

Fourth, don’t intentionally interfere with another person’s device, e.g., as is sometimes encouraged in the games of horseshoes, bocce ball and croquet, and try to develop your playing skills ambidextrously.

FRISBIE, CATCH, PADDLEBALL, PITCHING/BATTING, etc.

These are games designed to be cooperative by their very nature, and ideally suited to just two players (there can be more, of course). They are also great for developing ones ambidexterity. They can be played most anywhere, and modified accordingly. An interesting variation on the first two is throwing and catching two objects (they can be different) simultaneously, e.g., a soft Frisbee and a soft football, or two Frisbees, or two tennis balls (thrown slowly, underhanded), etc.

In the case of paddleball, I would suggest using a relatively soft, lightweight ball (not a racquet ball) that doesn’t go to far and is easier to control and racquetball racquets work quite nicely.

A pitching/batting suggestion is, using a bucket of tennis balls, and a fence not to far away, taking turns trying to hit home runs. Some sort of backstop is helpful as well. Remember to try using two paddles (one in each hand) when playing paddleball (great game at the beach).

ALONE GAMES

Golf, shooting (or throwing at) baskets, throwing/hitting against a wall, croquet, horseshoes, darts, pool, etc. – playing by yourself is a good opportunity to grow your ambidextrous skills. In golf, for example, if you are right handed, try putting and short, running chip shots left handed (never hurts to have a left handed 7 or 8 iron in your bag anyway). Frisbee golf is also lots of fun and can be played with a bat and ball as well.

“Beach golf”, as I fondly refer to it, is one of my favorite alone games. All you need is a bat and a waterproof ball. Hit left handed walking one way down the beach, right handed on the way back. Create imaginary holes along the way if you want – like a piece of driftwood, or a crab trap washed up on the beach. Just get the ball to travel over the object – you don’t have to hit it. You will be amazed at how many friends you’ll make as others take notice of and interact with your game.

Be creative. Don’t worry about what others think.

SUMMARY - I/WE ARE NOT ALONE

I would like to offer you two ‘play’ scenarios and ask you to carefully consider which ‘game’ you would prefer to ‘play’?

The first game will be a classic game of baseball. You are going to play against others who you may or may not know. There will be fans yelling in the stands, coaches making the decisions, umpires calling the plays (sometimes obviously incorrectly).

You are going to play one position (it may not be the position you prefer), you are going to get three at bats (maybe just two, as there are benched players who at least need to be given the opportunity to bat once), you may be struck out or inadvertently hit in the elbow by a very hard ball moving around 50 miles per hour, and if you make an error, the game may be lost on account of your miscue and you are going to have live with that (whatever that might mean to you).

You may get only two or three balls hit to you in the field, and if you are playing second base, for example, and try to make a put out at 2^nd, you may get run into and/or spiked by an overly aggressive player sliding into the base (remember, the opposition is out to win). At least, the first baseman will throw you a few practice grounders between innings.

The second game is going to be more like practice usually is. No fans (friends, parents, etc. are certainly welcome to watch) and no umpires. You are going to play just with your teammates. There may be a coach (an experienced player who can offer pointers to help develop your skills and add to the challenge of the game), who will be encouraged to play along as well.

There will be a rotation wherein everyone gets 5 good hits (the ball will be thrown at slower speeds so it can be hit and you will not be hit), and everyone plays every position (if there is a position you don’t want to play, you don’t have to). Fielders will make “ghost” plays at 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd base or home (designated before each hit) on each batters first four hits.

On your last hit you will run the bases. You will stop at the base where you would otherwise be safe or out in the traditional game. If ‘out’, you will hold at that base until the 5^th hit of the next batter, and then proceed running the bases as before.

This rotation will be repeated 3 times, meaning everyone gets 15 good at bats, everyone runs the bases 3 times, everyone plays every position three times (12 players x 15 hits/player = 15 fielding opportunities per game). There is no keeping score, no winner or loser. There are no errors and extreme care is going to be taken so that no one will get hurt.

What is your choice? Maybe you could have both. For those who must have the winning/losing experience, maintain the status quo. For those who don’t, but who want to participate in group sports, provide the second game as an alternative. Based on youth sports interest and drop out rates, I would suspect that participation in sports would continue into the teen years and adulthood for the vast majority who have given up.

Please remember this – “playing” a “game” and “competition” are not necessarily synonymous. That is to say, games can be played without keeping score, having winners and losers, without being competitive. And for many, it is a lot more fun.

A Word to the Wise – I have a suggestion – please consider giving up your addiction to watching sports on TV, going to football games, etc. All the hype and violence is having an extremely deleterious effect on you and your children – you are becoming immersed in the values of a culture gone astray. I know from experience this will not be easy. Just try cutting back at first, and get some friends together to play with, instead of watching others.

You know what most of the adults say to me when asked to remember what they liked most about organized sports when growing up? – Practicing, not the “real” games!

Lets take a look at the research findings about what kids like most about sports:

Lots of action/personal involvement

Skill development/challenges

Establishing friendships

And what they least like about sports:

It wasn’t that much fun anymore (why do you suppose?)

Inappropriate coaching

To much pressure and emphasis on winning

What is wrong with us? With all the down sides of competition, how, if it must persist, can we, in good conscience, at least not provide a viable alternative? Who are we kidding here? Things are getting worse – not better.

What we are doing now with sports is putting to much emphasis on performance, like in music, where only a few play and the rest listen (it doesn’t have to be that way).

Instead, we should ALL be players, participants in the grand

 “playful harmony of life” – in games, in music, in everything.

In writing this guide, many sources were drawn upon for insight, inspiration, and ideas. For many of those contributing/thinking seriously about this subject, there seems to be an acceptance that somehow competition is good, necessary, a given. So within a competitive, scoring, win/lose context, they are doing their best to manage other aspects of play and games so that some of the negatives, especially of youth sports (the focus of most of the literature), can be minimized. Their ideas for change/reform within the structure of organized youth sports are laudable and completely necessary, as competitive sports are not going to go away.

As you have already noticed (and I apologize for bringing it up once again), I do not think competition in sports is necessary (albeit, maybe it is for some, some of the time, but certainly not for most) to make our games worthwhile, and in fact, more often than not, it is the competitive element and all that goes along with it, that is actually killing the “spirit of play”, and causing the great decline in sports participation as children enter their teens.

What are needed, then, are alternative, non-competitive, organized, youth and adult sports programs that fulfill the needs of the vast majority of children and adults who want to play, just for the fun of it.